The loss of a cat can feel like losing a part of yourself. They say the price of love is grief, and for many of us, the grief is overwhelming. Just like the love shared. And this profound loss is often misunderstood by the world around us.
If acknowledged at all, it’s often met with a casual “sorry about your cat…” and moving on.
Experiencing this ourselves, we’re often shocked when this loss is met with genuine empathy. And it provides such comfort from a fellow human that shares the pain of this kind of grief.
It doesn’t take away the pain – but it opens a place in our broken hearts that feels like it needs protection. Which makes us wonder…
What if this grief could be experienced with fully open hearts? What if our understanding about death and grief is so painful because it’s incomplete?
Dr. Isla Fishburn’s Perspective on Death and Grief
We recently had the honor of inviting on our podcast Dr. Isla Fishburn – a conservation biologist, psychologist, and what she describes as a “grief tender” and “soul worker.” In this conversation, we explored a completely different way of understanding loss. Not as something to fix or move past… but as something sacred.
Dr. Fishburn describes death not as an ending, but as a transition. In her words, animals make this very clear: “We don’t need to be in a body to be alive.”
This idea alone can begin to soften the way we hold grief. Because if our cats are not truly gone – but simply no longer in physical form – then our relationship with them has not ended. It has changed.
But even this concept doesn’t dull the pain.
Why Grief Feels So Overwhelming After the Loss of a Cat
Dr. Fishburn explains that what we feel after losing a beloved animal is not just grief from that single loss. “It’s actually the charge of all the griefs… all the griefs that we’ve ever experienced.”
This is why the pain can feel so intense, so consuming, and sometimes even confusing and destabilizing. It is not just about this moment. It is about everything that has ever gone unprocessed, unseen, or unfelt.
And instead of seeing that as something wrong, Dr. Fishburn invites us to see it as something purposeful.
What Does “Death as Sacred Medicine” Mean?
This is where her concept of “death as sacred medicine” comes in.
Dr. Fishburn shares that both death and grief are experiences that open us, shift us, and guide us back to something deeper within ourselves. “Heartbreak is an invitation to become heart-awake,” she explains.
One of the most powerful ideas she shares is that, as a society, we are “grief and death illiterate.” We haven’t been taught how to be with loss. Instead, we are often taught to move on, to suppress, or to explain it away.
But grief does not cooperate with our contemporary coping mechanisms.
Dr. Fishburn points out that grief does not disappear when ignored. It doesn’t heal when it’s rushed. Grief waits to be felt.
Once we can accept that loss – the death of loved lives around us – is the only inevitable thing we are sure to experience, we can approach grief more like an old friend. Maybe not one we’re excited to invite over – but when a visit arrives, approach with an open-hearted, “Come in.”
This perspective can feel radically different, especially in the early days of loss. But even gently considering it can begin to shift something inside.
How Animals Experience Death and Transition
Another comforting concept she shares is how animals themselves experience transition.
From her work communicating with animals and exploring consciousness, she explains that animals do not fear death the way humans do. They do not define themselves by their physical bodies. Instead, they exist in what she calls both the “seen and unseen” at the same time.
Even while alive, they are connected to something beyond what we can perceive. And when they transition, they simply move more fully into that space.
And perhaps most importantly – they stay connected to us.
Signs and Connection After the Loss of a Pet
Dr. Fishburn describes animals who have transitioned as becoming part of our “spirit family” – guides, supporters, and companions in a different form. “Call upon us,” she says they share. “We’re still here.”
That connection may show up in ways we don’t always expect. A dream that feels incredibly real. A sudden memory. A sense of presence. A moment that feels too meaningful to be coincidence.
Rather than dismissing these experiences, she encourages us to remain open to them. Because the energy of true connection does not require physical form.
The Healing Message Our Cats Leave Behind
At the heart of everything she teaches is one core message from our animals – one that may be the most healing of all.
“The amount of love that you give us,” they say, “can you give it back to yourself?”
That unconditional love we feel from them – the acceptance, the absence of judgment – that is what they want for us.
They are not asking us to stop grieving. They are asking us to remember who we are. To reconnect with ourselves. To come back to what she calls the “sacred.”
And maybe that is the deeper meaning within the pain.
Not that loss is easy. Not that we should be grateful for it. But that within it, there may be something that can transform us – if we allow it.
If You Are Grieving the Loss of a Cat Right Now
If you are grieving right now, there is nothing you need to fix. There is nothing you are doing wrong.
There is only this moment.
And maybe, something within is guiding you somewhere deeper than you’ve ever been before.
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